Splitting, Judgment, & Narcissism

Splitting is the psychological term used when someone values someone very highly and then quickly devalues them just as fiercely.  The degree to which we devalue others is often a gauge of how insecure we are in our own value which is where projection comes into play.  We run others down to make ourselves feel better–we know this is a trademark Narcissistic trait which exists in all of us at times and to some degree.  It is so tempting to complain about the real or perceived shortcomings of other people.  I came across this verse in the book of James this morning:

James 5:9  “Do not complain about one another, so that you will not be judged.  Look, the Judge stands at the door!”

When we judge others, or craft negative/condemning opinions of them, it is often in an attempt to draw attention away from our own faults.  Instead, it brings us more into the spotlight because we have taken a high position in order to be able to make a judgment.  We should take caution in doing this since we are all susceptible to making many mistakes.  At times it is necessary to draw a conclusion that results in boundaries–even then we can do so in a way that preserves dignity (oh how guilty I am of not doing this!)  Have mercy and compassion on the failures of others and it will evidence that you are self aware of your own failures.  When we value people more than their shortcomings we are drawing closer to the heart of God.

My prayer for all of us today is that we would err on the side of forgiveness today and leave room for God to handle the characterization of others’ intents and motives 🙂



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